| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|02:01 am] |
Last night, on the way home from work, I passed an altercation. A woman had just been hit by a man who was with a buddy or 2. She was squatting with her hands over her head, screaming "why'd you hit me? Why'd you hit me?" He kept responding, with a clenched fist at his waist, arm cocked for what seemed like another blow, "I told you last week! I told you last week!"
Likean ass, like a city dweller who's become too calous to care, I kept on riding, trying to figure out what to do. I slowed down a bit, stopped on a nearby curb, muttered "that's fucked up" to myself, and went home. Like an ass.
It has been a long day at work, sure, but it felt so wrong to just leave. It was so wrong. I think of myself as more than that, as somebody who would step in, or at least call out or call the cops. But I left, feeling powerless.
I moped around all night before going to bed. Jennifer was out to dinner until 12. When she got home, it wasn't long before we went to bed.
At 5:30AM, right south of our building, I heard 9 gunshots. I woke up right away and knew they were very close. I jumped up, put on my glasses, and looked out onto the empty street below. I watched for about 1.5 minutes before I hearing another 2 gunshots.
I was confused, because I wasn't quite sure where the gunshots were coming from. I watched and watched and heard nothing. I heard our new, white neighbor's door opened, and I suddenly feared that something had happened to her. I ran to my door to look out the peephole and saw her door wide open. I ran to the front of the apartment to look down and see if somebody besides her came out, worrying it had been her who was shot. I heard the door close and sighed with relief.
Soon, 2 cop cars zoomed up and began patrolling, and then the morning traffic really started up and I went to bed.
I still don't know what happened, but it has been troubling me all day.
Violence.
In this neighborhood, it means that the gentrifiers moving in have a reason to have the cops come in, and the cops have a reason to harrass the brown and black folks, and then those folks will slowly start to lose the community, in the intangible sense, they've built here, and then the gentrification will be that much easier.
What a day it was yesterday. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|11:59 pm] |
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Hooray for the workers in New York! What an effective strike. $1 million a day in fines? Meh. Its nothing compared with the political power shown by this strike. They're not just showing their importance to the city but to the entire world, because it isn't just New York being affected. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2005|08:02 am] |
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For perhaps the first time, the Terminator has actually killed a man! I wonder how he feels. |
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| Veganism and shoes |
[Dec. 12th, 2005|01:34 am] |
I'm vegan because I want to live my life with the least amount of negative impact on the world as possible. So, as an anti-capitalist with a strong anti-corporate bent and a strong pro-labor belief, what should I do for new shoes? I haven't bought shoes since I became vegan, and since I didn't throw anything away, I still have my leather shoes. However, I don't know if I'd rather have leather shoes or shoes from a sweat-shop. I'd like neither, but I can't imagine getting these. The best example of a "nice" shoe is the Black Spot, but they're $69.95, and that's a lot of money. There are always New Balance shoes, but they doen't quite fit right on me, as my right foot is half an inch smaller than the left. I already own some, in fact, and don't need more running shoes because I don't run.
The other thing is that fake-leather shoes give me migraine headaches. Its odd, but true. As a child, I'd get horrific headaches when I'd get fake-leather shoes as the things would make my feet sweat way too much and dehydrate me.
I may just stick with my New Balance shoes when these other ones wear out totally. But man, what a hassle to try to "live progressively." I wouldn't expect it to be easy, by any means, but you can wish, can't you? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|06:04 pm] |
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I only fell off my bike once in the mile between the train and my house! I felt proud. I should note that I only rode about half-way, but that's a lot in 5 inches of snow! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|08:02 am] |
I am sick. My head is packed full with snot. And I can't empty it.
I missed work on Tuesday (wooo!) and went yesterday. I wish I could not go today. But I think I'd be fine to go if I could just empty my head.
I had this weird dream where I was in the movie Into the Blue (which I never saw) and that Jessica Alba was Jennifer Lopez. It did get a little porny, but then it also got disturbing. The big mean boss (of the beach where the whole dream took place) sent a dog after me. A Rottweiler. It had a chain around its neck, and I managed to wrap that around the dogs neck and then its lower jaw. One of the dogs teeth broke and I woke up like "ew, that must have hurt!"
Oh how I wish it was the weekend!
Did I mention my new bike? Its a beautiful thing, but... the seatpost is stuck. I'm going to have to take it back to Working Bikes, and hopefully they can fix it. If not, I'll switch it for another one. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|08:12 am] |
Here's my plan: I am going to start a writing group (or at least find one). The hard part here is finding people who want to be in it. A writing group of 1 isn't all that fun or productive.
Any takers? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|08:11 am] |
Work is boring.
I decided I'm done with my bike zine, but dammit I haven't tried to start compiling it. And the video games! Oh the games. Dragon Quest is sucking away my time, as is Space Rangers 2. They're all just too fun! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2005|12:47 pm] |
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Add me to the list of those fallen to the lure of Netflix. Where else could I get Beyond Thunderdome on DVD? And Fitzcaralldo? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2005|08:12 am] |
Yesterday was an okay day at work. The boss was sick. This seemed to put everyone in a good mood.
We talked about Ali G and Borat, about Khazakstan, Turkmenistan and its somewhat humourous dictator, and so on. All things were jovial until the IT fellow couldn't get the new Print Server to work.
Is it weird to feel so in the closet about my politics and queerness and everything? I don't really mention anything about myself. I'm not funny at all (but that's just because I'm shy and around new people). All I do is work work work and hope I don't fuck up.
Coldest morning yet, and I'm too whimpy to brave the wind on my bike. I'm taking the train again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2005|08:01 am] |
I've nearly stopped writing altogether. After nearly 1000 pages in a year, I'm down to about 2 pages a week, not including video game reviews, work writing, or this livejournal. Jennifer says she thinks I'm unhappy, but I don't know if that's true.
I just need to write.
I finished writing my zine a few weeks ago, and I've made no attempt to compile it. Maybe I'll do that this weekend. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2005|07:49 am] |
The wind yesterday made me weep bitter tears as I rode home last night. I had to stand up on the flats to keep my bike moving. In other words, yesterday just sucked.
This was on top of the overtime I worked. I'm sick of this overtime. I've worked for about 3.5 weeks, and I've already worked more than 5.5 hours overtime, and I'm exempt, dammit. I fucking hate exemption! I may dispute my status, as I don't think my job description totally describes my job, and that's why it gets to be exempt.
My boss is a bit of a nut, too.
Yeah, I'm full of complaints. What did you expect from an anarchist working in the godawful loop? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2005|08:20 am] |
Life is pretty busy now that I'm working, and working full time. The youth organizing job wrote me a form letter saying "sorry, we chose somebody else." I thought this was odd because they offered me the job, told me to think about it, and then never called me back.
Anyways, this other job is pretty easy, but its tiring because its nonstop. That means the day flys by, for the most part, but I'm still waiting for 5:00 every day and then riding back with legs getting more and more sore every day until the weekend. I usually don't ride, or at least not much, on the weekend, at which point my legs are fully recovered and ready for more riding.
Today its supposed to be over 70! This is great news. I have to be out of the house from 8-10 tonight, and that means that riding around will be a good idea and will be fun in the warm night.
Today, I get my first pay check. This is exciting. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|09:27 am] |
Its 9:24. I'm at home.
I wish I could say I am sick. I cannot.
I simply didn't do well setting the alarm last night. I set it to 7:15, but the wrong one. So I'm sitting here waiting for Jennifer who will be able to drive me to the L station.
I'm such a fool.
This worries me most because, even though I'm not all that into this job, its okay, and the organizing job dropped the ball hardcore and wouldn't call me back and then hired someone else. However, as its a temp job with the possibility of being hired, this is just the wrong time to be this late. I'm going to get there, I'm guessing, at 10. That's bad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|08:07 am] |
My second day or work, and I'm already dreading it. I do wish I hadn't taken this job at all and waited to negotiate with the other place. I still haven't turned down the other job officially, and they said they'd pay me more. I'm also not assured a job at my current place, so I may have to quit that and take the job that's actually cool and challenging.
I hate this hard stuff. Do I take the part-time job, or do I keep the full-time one? The PT has an almost guaranteed chance at full time, while I'm not assured a job in 3 weeks at the other place.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|11:03 am] |
Tuesday, 9:00AM. Start my 3 week temporary position at a Jewish peace organization. I had to turn down the youth organizing job (or at least I will have to) because they couldn't pay me right. How sad, that was.
But, my point here is that I have a fucking job! 6 months almost to the day after I get here, I finally have a job.
Too bad its only for 3 weeks, at which point they'll see if they offer me the full-time thingee. |
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| Yom Kippur |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|07:43 pm] |
Why does an athiest celebrate the day of attonement?
I ask myself this quite a bit. It is a tradition. My family has always done it, and I've always felt the need to do it, as if it were my duty as a Jew.
But recently, I've become much more determined to take the god out of the day and make it a day about me, with the same principles of attonement leading the way.
On New Year's Day, people who follow the Gregorian Calender celebrate the end of the year. They do this with drinking and parties. The next day, the actual day, people come up with resolutions to try to better themselves. I don't see the need to get fucked up and out of your mind to celebrate things, and I especially don't see the point of doing so on a supposedly introspective holiday.
Yom Kippur is, to me, the begining of a new year. It was this time last year that I became vegan, as a challenge to myself. It is the time of year where I make huge choices about my life and reflect on what it is I've done and what it is I'd like to do for the next year.
And leaving most vices behind makes this easier. I cannot be distracted from thinking about my life, about my world.
And it feels so personal, now. I am joining millions of other Jews in looking into our lives and determining who we are as individuals, and hopefully, as a community. I don't believe that there is a god, nor that he has a book in which he scribles our names to let us live one more year. I believe that we must set aside all illusions and barriers and fears and just sit for a day, without food, water, bathing, anything, and try to come to grips with who we are. Its a beautiful time of year, and the older I get, I feel more and more happy about having less and less to feel sorry about.
So, now I'm off to go read about my last year and remember the good and bad I've done, and the love and hate I've experienced. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|12:55 pm] |
So, I was just offerred a 3 week temp job to see if I really do learn quick. This job is a lot of technical stuff, things I've never done. I'm still waiting to hear back about the Youth Organizing job, and if they offer enough, I will gladly take that one. The environmental justice organization kicks ass, whereas the Jewish org for peace in Israel is less cool, but not bad at all.
I'm fucking nervous about it all, too. Will I be able to afford to live at the PT Youth Organizing place? I dunno. I'm guessing I'll find out in a few hours. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|12:34 am] |
I went to Colorado to see my dad who was getting surgery again, then came home to Chicago to find 2 job interviews waiting for me! The one yesterday went GREAT, and I'm thinking I'm going to get that job.
The other job is in Evanston and corporate, and while I haven't had the interview, I think I'll get that one too, and it worries me because it will probably be so much more money than the environmental/social justice job.... The thought of living debt free is so nice, but I know I would go nuts at that place.
My dad is fine, by the way.
Also, Jennifer and I went out to celebrate my good job interview, and on the way home, our car was stopped by Critical Mass. It was so cool! The other drivers around us were fuming mad. The car in front of us had some angry people in the back seat who decided to get out. I was worried it was going to turn sour, but things turned out fine when the guy got back in the car. As macho as you may be, you can't take on 2,000 bikers with only 3 of your pals.
It reminded me of the time L and J almost got attacked by an asshole of a driver as I was walking by, and I was VERY ready to jump in if J got touched. Man, did that guy make me mad.
I haven't ridden my bike in 2 weeks. It looks lonely! |
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